Abbott defends Government's new Bible character

Australian Prime Minister Tony Abbott today broke his media silence in defence of the Government's new Bible character, Greg Bethlehem.

The new character, which was announced as part of the incumbent regime's $600 billion high-school education clusterfunk, will sport a red "speedo" cock-jock bathing costume and a sensibly-rogue 1940s haircut.

New Bible character Greg Bethlehem collects his "poonani reward"

The Gallipoli-born Greg Bethlehem is credited in the Book of Menzies with saving the helpless Virgin Mary from drowning in the Dead Sea, where she failed to swim properly because she is a woman.

Bethlehem then "totally nails that sluzza" before ditching her at Stereosonic 6BC.

Mr Abbott said it was "...important that Australians be represented in the Bible" before saying that it was "just a story," and then also denying that it was "just a story," and then kind-of just standing there for a bit, swaying.

Australian journalists tonight remained tight-lipped, mostly focussed on keeping their jobs and thinking about how fucked-up they're gonna get this weekend.

-REUTERS

On the matter of Abbott and the Big Business agenda.

In response to a NineMSN article entitled Abbott To Cut Australia In Half**

(image source)

This is what they mean by dog-whistle politics, I think.

Dress it up as a "development plan" - whole reports, thousands of meaningless words in length - make it seem reasonable and always deny what is really going on: a well-orchestrated pillaging of the nation's resources by a lunatic big business minority (who consider themselves an aristocracy) at the expense of working people and the nation, not to mention the ongoing criminal theft from Aboriginal people of their lands and cultures.

Hunter Thompson talked about "...the built-in blind spots of the Objective rules and dogma" that allowed convicted felon Richard Nixon to "slither into" power and we would be fools par excellance to allow ourselves to ever fall into the same trap.

Never forget what's really going on: that Rinehart is a daughter following directly in the footsteps of a man who wanted to sterilise native peoples to extinguish their very existance, let alone native title.

That he - Lang Hancock - founded the asbestos mines at Whitenoom, in the Western Australian north.

That Julie Bishop defended the Whitenoom companies in court while mesothelioma victims literally died before justice could be brought.

And that Abbott - unscrupulous and drunk with power - is happily their mouthpiece. He is a dangerous lunatic and should never be allowed to creep his way into the Lodge on a protest vote.

No. Fracking. Way.

**since retitled Abbott backs away from 'move north' plan...

Western Australian Douche-Bag Of The Week Awards

^^ Opposite of douche-bag: An amazing pic from the Kimberley blockade.

(Pic thieved from Ben Collins at the ABC. Sorry about that, Ben.)

There are a number of complete douche-bags who deserve this award this week.

Third Place must surely go to the fine folks at Woodside and their enablers in WA Parliament.

These shit-heads have sent in contractors to clear land at James Price Point despite the fact that environmental approval is yet to be forthcoming, and simultaneous to recommendations that 20 million hectares of Kimberley Country be declared a national heritage site.

It's wonderful to see the people of the Kimberely sticking it up these greed-merchants. They have my full support!

Douche-Bag Number Two is the Idiot Who Decided To Outlaw Kronic.

Now, I haven't taken this synthetic marijuana substitute, nor do I necessarily condone illicit drugs, but everyone with a brain knows that prohibition fails to address any of the social or health issues surrounding those kind of shenanigans.

Yet WA, the same state who was, you'll remember, most reluctant to pass the legislation in 1967 granting Aboriginal people the same basic citizenship rights as other Australian human beings, has embarrassed itself publicly yet again. It's the same old shit from cowardly fascists.

Pretty sure the Premier is sitting back drinking some of his special Rio Tinto clean-skin faux-sauvignon blanc tonight......

Helen Lovejoy: Sort of like Margaret Court, except I'd bone her.

(source)

On that note, prize for the Biggest Douche-Bag Around goes to the Absolute Jerk-Off Who Revoked The Bakery's License For 24 Hours so that they couldn't send Kronic out in style.

Just to re-iterate for any gibbering, McDonald's munching Repressive State Apparati reading this, I'm not necessarily pro-drugs. What I am defending here is personal freedom and civic democracy.

But this decision was an absolute disgrace, and any tatters of credibility that this government has left have crumbled like shitty synthetic fibres in the rains of makuru.

How dare Cockroach Barnett turn around and feed The Bakery this one:

When you receive Government funding with it goes some mutual obligations and responsibilities. [source: The West]

Veiled threat? I wouldn't say it was veiled at all...

This scum-bag and his party full of CEOs and Old Money are a disgrace to the very word "liberal" and all that "liberalism" stands for.

They are Tories, plain and simple, and this is just another excuse to lock up young people and anybody else who dares to question whether the laws we're handed are actually beneficial in any way.

The kicker, and this is where the powers-that-be really start showing their colours, is that the organisers of the Kronic party turned around and decided to hold a Say 'No' To Legal And Illegal Drugs Party at the Civic Hotel (a private venue) instead.

Then, according to promoter Kron Voyage:

Liquor licensing came and threatened the venue and bar manager with a $60k fine so they had no other option but to dis-allow the show. The west australian government have canned an anti-drug event featuring local bands and artists, absoulute discrace!... [sic]

Nobody seems to be able to answer the question re: what legal grounds, exactly, the Civic was threatened, or what they're supposed to have done wrong.

Oh, and while I'm at it, the Encouragement Award for this week's Douche-Baggery goes to Commercial Media who beat up this entire thing in the first place. You know who you are. I bet you're so fucking proud of yourselves for making deadline. I hope your brother gets put in gaol.

OK, so, to round out this post: props to The Bakery / Artrage, a ballsy-as-hell promoter, and the Save The Kimberley mob for their pro-democracy stance this week. Positive vibes all 'round.