Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Abbott defends Government's new Bible character

Australian Prime Minister Tony Abbott today broke his media silence in defence of the Government's new Bible character, Greg Bethlehem.

The new character, which was announced as part of the incumbent regime's $600 billion high-school education clusterfunk, will sport a red "speedo" cock-jock bathing costume and a sensibly-rogue 1940s haircut.

New Bible character Greg Bethlehem collects his "poonani reward"
The Gallipoli-born Greg Bethlehem is credited in the Book of Menzies with saving the helpless Virgin Mary from drowning in the Dead Sea, where she failed to swim properly because she is a woman.

Bethlehem then "totally nails that sluzza" before ditching her at Stereosonic 6BC.

Mr Abbott said it was "...important that Australians be represented in the Bible" before saying that it was "just a story," and then also denying that it was "just a story," and then kind-of just standing there for a bit, swaying.

Australian journalists tonight remained tight-lipped, mostly focussed on keeping their jobs and thinking about how fucked-up they're gonna get this weekend.