Friday, April 1, 2011

OMG: Facebook Privacy Ammendments Mean They Actually Own You

pic stolen from here


In a statement released earlier today, popular social networking website have announced that they actually own everybody, and have done for several months.

"Privacy changes were made in late 2010 that mean that not only do we legally own all information posted on the website, we own all information contained within that information," explained Stall Bot #9567.

"Essentially what this means is that we own everything contained within every photo on Facebook.

"So if you or any of your things happen to be in a photo that happens to be on Facebook, we actually own it now, by law. This includes your clothes.

"This also includes things that up until now nobody owned. For example, that tree in the background of your wedding photo? We own it."

Bot #9567 says Facebook didn't feel it important to mention this earlier.

"We couldn't really give a fuck. All it would result in would be a barrage of Moronic Facebook Groups which we'd have to pay lip service to. Everyone is still going to keep using the website regardless."

As a deterrent from any dissent, Facebook have threatened to upload The Social Network to their servers at the slightest hint of government investigation.

"Us owning The Social Network would result in an ironic disturbance of Williamsburgian proportions," said the Bot.

"It is likely that the fabric of space-time would rip. Most Facebook users wouldn't be able to handle it."

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